What Are Ya Gonna Do?
From ShunpikerWiki
| What Are Ya Gonna Do? | |
| Source: | Eileen Shute |
|---|---|
| Date: | unknown |
| Versions: | (other versions) |
Nobody loves you, or they don't love you enough, or in the right way. You are alone, forsaken, bereft. Or you are smothered, controlled, co-dependent. Your family doesn't suspect the truth, or understand you, or expects too much, or not enough. Or you have no family.
Your friends don't appreciate you, or even know the real you. If they did, they would leave you. What relationship could withstand the full glare of total candor? Your professional life is a dead-end, a cul-de-sac. Or maybe your star is rising and the world is your oyster, but you fear the descent is coming soon, as it always is. You're losing your hair, or your tits are sagging. Your ass is not what it used to be, but then nobody's is.
You're exercising regularly, taking vitamins, and there are whole weeks when you manage not to think of death. But you found that weird growth under your arm, or your feet are giving you problems; your prostate is a mystery, but nags you nonetheless..
The kids are great, but can be a pain in the ass. Or else you never had kids, and this is a pain in the heart. You never became what you wanted. Or if you did, it was not enough. You hope for one more Christmas, in order to make things right. Or you ignore the whole gig, and hope it all goes away.
Or everything is wonderful. Then the stars start falling. There were words meant to be said that will never leave the sanctuary of the lips. There are memories that will die as soon as the eyes close. Homeless spirits tap at the windows on winter evenings, prying, looking in, desperate for some sign that people have learned something from this long, sad, beautiful story. These spirits leave, shaking their heads in sadness.
I have seen these legions of the hungry dead. I have spoken to them in their sad, slow drawl. And they all say, "Tell everyone to be gentle; tell them to look at the moon and the stars. Tell them to touch one another as if today was the last day they had on earth."
I forget the rest of what they said. But I think it has something to do with praise and wonder. This is what the spirits sometimes whisper in my ear, late at night, when I cannot sleep.
